Thursday, April 29, 2010


For sometime now, I've been aware of my situation but not aware of my actions. I've been focusing on how outside forces affected my life rather than monitoring my own interactions. As I read through my years of journals, I find myself relearning the same lessons, being in the same predicaments and feeling the same way. Today as I looked at my diminishing bank account and my expanded waist, I thought, I've been here before. I've been broke before, weighed down, depressed and at the end of my rope; but never at the end of hope. I always had faith, pride and a reputation of being an over comer. For one reason or another, I have turned into a complainer boarding on a quitter. I complain about the economy, my lack of resources, my current situation and more. No action just complaints. It's hard to look at yourself in the mirror when you realize how much you have changed for the worse. This long stint of unemployment and the ending of my relationship has turned me into a cynical creature. So I decided today once and for all I would change. No more complaints, even if the core of my being is exploding, I will not cry out. I will not complain. I gave the blog a face lift with brighter colors and now it is time for my life to resemble a new change, a new me. After all, I am a Delta and Delta means change!

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