Sunday, July 18, 2010
HOW DO YOU SPELL SUCCESS?
Today was my 10 year class reunion and I believe I had a brief panic attack before I went! So many thoughts clouded my mind. I thought about borrowing my sister car because my car doesn't scream success with its broken headlight and loud muffler. I thought about what I would say if someone asked me what I did for a living. Would I talk about the degrees I'm not using or my books that aren't exactly selling? I thought about overdrawing my account to get dolled up. Nothing says success like a power suit, clipped ends and manicured nails! I thought about how I'm not married and struggling to follow my dreams. I'm not going to lie and say that it isn't hard standing on the promises of the Creator when no resolution is in sight. I'm not going to pretend to not have measured success by dollars and cents. I have to admit, I felt unsuccessful. At the last minute I decided to go, as me, no rehearsed stories and no last minute dates. I washed my hair, threw on an old dress and drove my '92 Nissan to the reunion. I had a blast! In the midst of the tributes, dinner and laughter, I felt successful. Growth is a success that cant be brought or sold. I have grown in these past years, I no longer have to search for my passion or life's meaning nor am I haunted by mistakes of the past. I may not have made NY times best sellers list (yet) but I am a published author. I've traveled with a play. I followed my heart across the country. I have experienced love and loss and those are the true successes of life. I didn't feel the need to name drop, boast or brag. Though, I've met some wonderful people and had some amazing experiences in these past ten years, what I deem to be successful may not be my classmates definition and I'm fine with that. I am fine with me. I know that I'm not where I want to be but I'm getting closer to that destination. I am successful in my own right. I have conquered blindness, knee surgeries, sickle cell, unemployment and more. I am alive and breathing and still journeying towards success. Having the breath of life is a great success.