Saturday, July 25, 2009


Have you ever seen "Bridget Jones Diary?" I am the epitome of Bridget Jones, from her bad habits, quirks and luck with men. Yes me, an unemployed Black woman, can closely identify to a fictional character, who happens to be a British White woman. Go figure! It is 4am, my normal time for praying, pondering, reflecting and researching...My life that is and my life that will be. I have so many random thoughts, ideas and cravings. This stint of unemployment is like a long overdue birth. And I still don't know the sex of the baby! My future, my career. I am indeed giving birth;Birth to a process of trial and error;Knowing, living, learning and understanding. 
I don't know why when I have spells of insomnia, applying for jobs ease my mind. I don't understand why I watch QVC, HSN, every reality show known to man, Law and Order, CSI, Food Network and the Disney Channel to pass my time, instead of getting out of the house. I can't help but to stress about my overwhelming debt and lowering credit score. I went to the ER a couple of months ago and since I don't have a job, I don't have health insurance. That ER bill is ridiculous. I've been sick for a week now and I can't afford to go to the hospital. Why me? I had two interviews last week and since I didn't get the job, does it mean GOD has something better in store? I get unemployment checks that goes straight to bills. How can I ever get above the red? I wish my hair would grow. I need to work out and lose weight, I think I'll start tomorrow. These are all RANDOM THOUGHTS THAT ARE EVADING MY HEAD! IS IT RANDOM THOUGHTS OF UNEMPLOYMENT OR JUST RANDOM THOUGHTS?
 In any case, I am lead to believe in and accept POSITIVITY as a truth in my life. Although, I am struggling; problems will always arise and my emotions will sometimes get the best of me; and of course I'm not where I want to be; I know for certain my temporary situation, circumstance, racing thoughts and numerous unanswered questions will not last forever. Neither will yours!

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