Saturday, February 20, 2010


Youth. You can never get it back. As I look at my lined face, Im only 27 but I have changed. It scares me, the thought of getting older. I think if I could only go back, I would have done so many things different. I would have waited, I would have act, I would have tried, I would have done. I can't go back and moving forward is hard to do. Where do I start, where do I go, who should I be? How do I look forward with optimistic eyes when I'm not sure about what I'm seeing? Did I miss my chance? Am I too late? I feel like a battered woman or a sheltered housewife, afraid to leave. Knowing that I'm not in the ideal situation but leaving, starting over and acting is hard to do. How do I become a writer, find that perfect job, find myself? Depressed in despair but focused on hope. Doubtful in my actions but faithful in my destiny. Tired of thinking but ready to act. This is the grand paradox. The life I live, past present and future...

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