Unanswered Questions

I keep trying to fight back tears;redirect my thinking. But the reality is, I feel defeated. I try to find comfort in this bottle of coke and bag of chips. Not working. Empty calories, same regret. What am I missing and or doing wrong? I'm tired of this dark cloud following me and preventing the sun. I know I said I would not complain, wince or cry aloud but when everyone believes the smile on your face and don't recognize the pain in your heart; what do you do? How do you regain that which is lost, that which you never had before? Success. How do you forgive hurtful words, gossip and disrespect? Friends. Which way do you turn when you were traveling in the wrong direction from start? GOD. When do you realize the things you need you had all along? Content. How do you get the things you've always wanted and your heart desired? Faith. When do souls meet and lust leave? Love. From work to relationships, my heart is heavy and mixed with steel. Troubles at work, between friends, waiting for a romance to begin. Finding my way, seeking the light, pursuing a purpose, passionately right.